EAGLE BRAND MILK

FOR SARAH: My paternal grandmother raised me. We were living in Beebe, Arkansas at the time. One of her most scrumptious pies was lemon icebox. She always kept Eagle Brand condensed milk on hand for the pies. I had a serious case of "sweet tooth" when I was about 9 years old. One day I hit upon a plan. I would punch a hole in the can with an icepick (sounds dangerous as I think back on it) and then suck the sweet nectar until I had my fill. I would then return the can to the pantry. This went on for a few days, but finally, I was "busted". Granny went to the pantry to fetch some EB and found an empty can. At this point I had to fetch a willow switch. You know the rest - corporal punishment was still "in". But now, the rest of the story ... About ten years ago I got to reminiscing on those days and developed an insatiable desire for some EB. My mind was absolutely consumed with the thought of EB milk. I was working in Mt. View, Arkansas, about 35 miles from Batesville. I stopped in a local supermarket, headed straight to the condensed milk section, and picked up a can of EB. I could hardly wait to punch a hole in the can and get on with it!! Since I was finished working for the day, I headed back to Batesville, sucking on the can as I went. It was just as rich and sweet as I had remembered!! But, unlike when I was a child, the sweetness soon became overpowering and I began to get nauseated and diaphoretic. Even tho the AC was "cranked" I was sweating like crazy! My blood sugar was probably off the scale. As I got closer to Batesville, the blood sugar must have dropped. I stopped sweating and the nausea resolved. I don't remember admitting to my wife what I had done, but learned a lesson that day I will not soon forget.